Coping with Reality

Native Americans and Jeanette Miller

2010-03-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

Class yesterday really got me thinking about what we can do in terms of the Native American genocide, and as usual there really is not solution possible at this point and time. It would take a lot of public recognition and impetus to change right now, but we have to start somewhere, so why not now. In class we discussed how the we can "revive the space between" and everyone in my group had differing but similar opinions. I strongly believe that if we can allow the Native Americans to revive their cultural difference from our own, they will be able to begin healing. Admitting our mistakes and admitting to genocide would also help, but if we can't do that right now, then at least let us give them the space they need. We took their lands and culture from them in an attempt to close the "civilization" gap between us and them, but why do we need to do that? We should respect the beauty of their culture and accept those differences as beneficial. We all learn that we are all different people, with our own thoughts and opinions. We're taught to respect others opinions and ideas, that they are entitled to their opinions, so why can't we do that with for the Native American culture? They are entitled to their differences and to be individuals.
More and more often we are starting to accept others for their differences, although it has not been easy, we've begun to accept more women, blacks, and homosexuals into society. Although there is still significant resistance, these groups are slowly gaining the respect for their differences. We need to do this with religions and Native Americans too. This is their land, this is their home, we took it from them! The least we can do is respect them and accept them for their differences. Just think of all the things we could learn and just how much more rich we could become in our own culture for accepting those differences and understanding them. Its so annoying when we have amazing opportunities in front of us and don't do anything about them. We could have gained so much from the Native Americans, why can't we try to do that now if we can give them an opportunity to heal and forgive us, if possible?

Admitting to Our Mistakes

2010-03-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

After class yesterday, I left feeling so many mixed emotions. I felt kind of angry, helpless, and frustrated. The issue that we discussed about pointing out blame for genocide is just an extremely frustrating topic. For the record, I strongly feel that we need to acknowledge the Armenian genocide in order for healing to really begin, so I would be delighted if America would finally recognize the atrocious events that occurred as genocide. The issue is however, the fact that Turkey is more than prepared to fight this and point the finger back at the U.S. In the latter event, I very much agree with Turkey. It bothers me that America is ready to say that Turkey was guilty of the Armenian genocide when we have yet to look introspectively to the genocide that we have committed! No matter how you slice it, America is not innocent of massive bloodshed. We had committed a genocide against Native Americans, and I feel like to some extent we still hold that to them. As much as I am all for the U.S. holding Turkey to their mistakes of the past, but I feel we are being hypocritical right now to do so. Before we can blame Turkey for the murders of Armenians we must accept blame unto ourselves for the murder of millions of Native Americans.
As I was leaving class I was talking with Elizabeth about how the whole world needs a social reconstruction. I do feel ashamed somewhat to be human after this class. We are all guilty. Nobody is innocent in our species as far as I see it. Either we directly took part in the acts or we are bystanders. We say Turkey is guilty of their crimes of genocide but were we not partially to blame for not taking action to prevent or at least inhibit this? How can we so quickly point the finger at another country when we can't even have the decency to point it at ourselves first and be the bigger power. Perhaps if we take the higher road and admit our mistakes first we can convince Turkey without "the finger pointing" to accept the mistakes of their ancestors. Between Turkey and ourselves we are very similar. Neither of us wish to acknowledge our history and our ancestors mistakes. We did not do this, we are not involved in what happened so many years ago, but we are involved in the history being made. Wouldn't it just be so much better to look back 50 years from now and feel relief for having admitted the mistakes of the past and moving on? Not only would the victims have some form of healing and reassurance but maybe some of the guild our generations feel from the past can start to heal too. I can't say Germany is the best example, but they were held to the fire and now they acknowledge the Holocaust was their history, and people can move forward from that.
All I can really say is that we are all human and we all have faults. Almost everything we do has the best intentions, either for ourselves or for our community. Although the "best intentions" don't always end so well, we should be able to admit that it was our fault rather than trying to displace the blame for years to come on others. We are human, we make mistakes. I know this, and when I do something wrong I do the best I can to admit it and apologize to the parties effected. If only we can apply this to the larger scale maybe America can finally admit that we aren't perfect. We make and have made mistakes. We're sorry for being greedy and selfish, its human nature and we let that side get the best of our higher thought processes. We acknowledge what we did was wrong, but we hope we can all move forward from here.
If as humans we are supposed to be the "superior species" on Earth, then why do we let our instincts (like greed and domination) overcome our "higher power thinking" and say its okay?

Guest Speaker : Bonnie

2010-03-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

Bonnie was an excellent speaker and an amazing musician. I really enjoyed listening to her talk and tell us the story of her family. It is still awe-inspiring to listen to second generations survivors because I am still unable to really comprehend just how deep the wounds go from genocide. The way in which Bonnie spoke was quite light-hearted which made a lot of what she talked about easier to cope with, but her songs really nailed the emotions behind everything she was saying. In any case song creates a different type of emotional high, and from listening to her music I felt like I could better relate to her and the emotions that she was so conflicted with upon hearing about her cousins murder. I also have to say that I had the utmost respect for her parents from the way she described them. For any person who had to endure the tortures that the Jews did, it must be so difficult to forget and move on in life without constantly being conflicted with guilt and depression. Her parents however were able to put aside their emotions and raise Bonnie in an environment where she could speak freely with them and confront her emotions no matter what they were. Bonnie spoke of how some parents were too overshadowed by what happened while she was lucky enough to have the parents that were understanding.

One thing that I wish to reflect on was the quote "Hatred is like drinking poison, and hoping the person you hate will die." I often do not admit to hating anyone, but strongly disliking. I don't think hate is a word that can be used lightly. In cases where I do hate something or someone though I have realized over time that this quote is completely true. If you hate something and do not confront it or find a way to get it out of your life, it will just always eat you up inside. If you don't take a stand for yourself against hatred, there won't be anything left of you and what you hate will continue on just fine, unaware of any internal issues plaguing someone else. In terms of genocide it is hard to take a stand against a race of people, so as difficult as it is to do, the best way to dissolve the hatred against them is either to separate yourself from them, ignore them, or confront the issue and try to forgive and forget. Listening to Bonnie talk about this quote was very uplifting for me, espescially because I have been dealing with anger towards a lot of things in my life right now that are eating me up inside. It helped me to think about how I think about different things and how to confront them.

Maintaining Dignity

2010-02-13T15:26:00.000-08:00

After this weeks reading, I really started to get this feeling of overwhelming pride. It was a strange sensation since I am not Jewish, but after reading about how diligent the Jews were in maintaining their rituals and beliefs I was proud. I was incredibly proud of them. The Jewish have dealt with oppression and slavery for thousands of years as Moshe pointed out, but still they persevere and do not lose faith. Throughout Moshe's diary entry's I noticed a slow decay in his faith and then a sudden burst of pride in his religion. He went from feeling overwhelmingly empty to fulfilled in his faith in God. I must admit, when he announced his faith after questioning it, I was so relieved, I didn't want him to give in. Being segregated by religion is just a label, he is still a human being like the rest of regardless of his difference in beliefs. I particularly liked the phrase I read about the piano player, "What is in her head, nobody could take away." This phrase filled me completely with a comfort I never had before. It just showed me that no matter what happens to the body or what others may try to inflict on me, what is in my head is my own and no one can ever take that away from me no matter how hard they try. Reading about how the Jews rebelled to "hold their own" if you will was a good read to show the good in people.
The doctor that worked at the orphanage was willing to give up everything for those kids who weren't even his own. As I was reading his story I couldn't help but think about the big-heartedness and courage that you must possess to be so selfless and I wish I could follow his footsteps in some way. After I read his story, I wrote one thing in my notebook..."I love that man and I never met him." It had to be incredibly difficult to be so strong for others when you are probably questioning your faith and strength in a situation like the one he was in. I can only imagine what it was like for him, everyone questions their faith and their ability to remain strong, and for him the pressure must have been tremendous, but he did it. He led them to their end with his eyes open, head up and still supporting and loving his children. Normally when we here of acts like this in present day or even in some histories we attribute the title of a saint for their ability to keep faith and support others, but sadly I've never heard anyone say that their acts were saintly...which they were. Even if a saint is a catholic tradition, I don't see how they can't be recognized for their selflessness and considered so by another religion. I think that their work was saintly.

Denial of the Armenian Genocide

2010-02-08T21:46:00.001-08:00

During today's class I really got upset about a few things I saw besides the known fact that Turkey refuses to acknowledge the genocide even happening. This has always bothered me. What really got my cookie is how the United States has failed for so long to relegate any pressure on Turkey to admit their fault. I couldn't believe the videos where it seemed President after President has talked about finally recognizing the genocide, but in the end they fail to keep their promise. I can't even imagine what the Armenians feel every time another President steps up and claims that this is the last time denial in Turkey will continue. They must feel relieved and exhilarated, but after so many failures to launch it must not even phase them anymore. For the sake of the Armenians I wish one President would keep his word for once. They need this recognition to begin healing as Jennie has pointed out. By being recognized as victims of this horrible tragedy they could begin to tell their stories with less adversity from the public. I was very disappointed in Obama for his failure to keep his promise. Personally, I am someone that holds people to their promises, going back on one is really hurtful to me because I believe that people who are willing to promise something know they will be able to follow through.
I realize the consequences of recognizing the genocide, there probably will be a domino effect, but honestly, if Canada was able to lose their relationship with Turkey and still be functioning on a good level, I don't see how America can't do it and still survive without the oil from Turkey (ignoring the factors of war of course). I really believe that the domino effect it could cause may not be something we can't handle. I really think we are a strong enough nation despite economic downturn currently, that we could handle the recognition, and if America is as powerful as it seems to the world, then the pressure we could put on Turkey could help infinitely! I'm just upset for the Armenian population, that they're suffering is ignored by the world so it seems, and they don't get credit where it is due. It's been over 40 years now, we need to do this for them and the next generations.

Aftershocks

2010-01-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to read the articles due for Monday, and I'm glad I picked today. I started with the article we received in class by our speaker Anais. Anytime I hear the words "death" or "dying" lately I think about the recent events that have occurred in my life. My best friend just lost someone and just this past October I lost my Grandma, Casimira. When I read this article I began to flashback to when my Grandma was in hospice care. Like Anais's father, my Grandmother was a fighter. I heard my Mom tell her repeatedly that it is okay to let go and that it was her time. Every time I heard her say it, I cried. I was selfish, but I didn't want her to leave me. She is the only grandparent I have ever known my whole life and she meant so much to me. I couldn't let her go, I wasn't ready. After visiting her in the hospital and seeing her with the tubes up her nose, I began to realize that it was her time and for her sake, she had to let go. I couldn't stand to see my Grandmother, who was always so independent and hated being helped, having to depend on the doctors and tubes to sustain her. The more I saw her struggle moving, speaking, or even opening her eyes, the more I knew I had to let her go so she could be free and independent again. She hated not being able to be left alone, she asked for months when she lived with us to just go home. It killed me not to be able to take her home and put her where she really wanted to be, but I couldn't because of doctor's orders. My Mom wondered for the entire 2 weeks my Grandmother lived in hospice care, just when she was going to let go. Finally, the night she was alone and my Mom arrived home, she received the call. I understood how Anais felt that she needed her father to go, and struggled watching him suffer. I felt the same things. It seems that our loved ones pick the right time for them, her father chose when he was surrounded by his family, and my Grandma waited until she could be alone. At first my biggest fear was her being alone, but after it happened, I realized yet again I was selfish. She enjoyed being on her own and it seemed completely fitting that she would wait until she could be.
I read the next article by Hrag and felt again even more connections. I noticed that I didn't know much about my history and I wish I could have investigated it better. I realize that my experiences are nothing like that of Hrag's however because I have not been as closely linked to a genocide and I feel almost guilty trying to relate to him, but I feel good about trying to make a connection to his feelings. By connecting with him I think that I can act kind of like a vessel for his family and their trials. I was surprised by his mother's reluctance to admit her identity, but I could see why she would hide it. She was basically conditioned to deny her existence. I hope that Hrag can break through that and be more open and proud to be Armenian. Since my Grandma has passed I've taken much more to my Polish heritage and have taken so much pride in being her granddaughter. I could never deny who she has made me, and thinking about having to do so really breaks my heart. I can't imagine denying who I am.
The article by James Walker left me totally speechless. I can't recall a single time that I have been reading and gasped aloud, but this reading did it. When I read these stories I feel almost as if it was me viewing these things and smelling the decay. When I read these things I begin to wonder more and more about people. How could those Turkish people gather and watch the torture of those Armenian women, how could they sit and watch as they were tortured and burned to death and children whipped to oblivion? How could anyone do that, despite hatred for someone or anger? Maybe I will never get an answer, I can't imagine anyone would ever have answer to the question or own up to having an answer. However, I hope with every fiber of my being that people will realize what genocide is and what aftershocks it creates generationally and stop!

Is There a Motive?

2010-01-24T14:52:00.000-08:00

As I read through the reading on the Armenian genocide, I found the same question kept popping up in my head over and over. Why? What was the motive behind murdering millions of people. Just reading the numbers off the page was a shock, but the fact that I couldn't find any fathomable reason to perpetuate this slaughter left me speechless. One reason I remembered seeing on the page was land, to conquer, and to become stronger as an empire; to become more unified as a Turkish community, more whole. This is absurd! What is the point of taking land, what are they going to do with it once they get it? Having land and surface doesn't make you a strong empire, however I realize that this thought wouldn't have occurred I'm sure. If people think that instilling fear and wiping out innocent people builds an empire and gives it strength, they are horribly disoriented. Instilling fear and killing innocent people acts like a poison.

Another reason that I saw that made me upset was on page 399, that people were killed because the Ottoman empire didn't want to face itself and their reform, they were more interested in covering up their insecurities. The Armenians were enslaved, used for revenge, and to show superiority that clearly didn't exist. I just can't wrap my head around this. The point of this genocide is just so ridiculous, the did it for nothing. As far as I'm concerned and from my experiences nothing is ever a good enough reason to slaughter innocent people, no political vendetta or potential product. I think people need to be more curious and question more when they think or feel that something isn't right. There had to have been people in the empire that didn't agree with what was happening, why couldn't they join together and try to stop it! The only thing that makes me even more sad is the fact that I can see history repeat itself, it has and does happen. We need to stop it from happening though. I don't think I could do it alone, but I do believe that with classes like this and people being educated we can start to stop it now, beforehand.

Definitions

2010-01-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

I was listening to music today, particularly the song "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace and I started to think a little bit more about class the past week and then about the reading we had done about definitions prior to the class. For some reason I just started to think about a lot of different things. First of all, I began to think about how hard it is to define something that is so complex and affects so many people. It's very sad to know that the word genocide even has to be one of those complex definitions that needs to be figured out. When I was taking the language and literacy development class, we spent almost the entire semester trying to define exactly what literacy is. Although no cooperative definition was created we were all able to define it in our own context based off of our beliefs and personal experiences. The word genocide however is one of those I never wanted to define based on my own experiences and knowledge of it, but the word and what it represents is something that everyone should know and have their own idea for. If people could define it based on what they know and have experienced then maybe they will be able to become a stronger ally and defend those who it affects the most. For example, I consider myself a mediocre ally who needs some work in defining exactly what I stand for, but I strongly believe that once I can define it, I will have a better idea of what I'm fighting for and can be more proactive about it.
That brings me to the second thing I was thinking about, which is the whole ally perspective. I've never heard the term ally really used outside of history and wars. Hearing the term in a more personal setting where you are labeled as the ally really opened my eyes more to the fact that each person on this Earth is an ally for something that they stand for. Being empowered by knowing that I can be an ally for something and although my motions may not shock the world, they can be enough to bring small change to the immediate environment I place myself in. I'm not sure if I've purposely been trying to shrug the responsibility of being an ally or if I've just never realized that I am, but now I can see it a little better. I don't see myself being someone who is going to fix everything, but I do hope that I can make some small changes in my lifestyle and work on standing up more for what I believe, like inner city schools. I have heard so much negativity around them and after being there, it breaks my heart to hear people slander my students. Knowing that I am their ally being from the "dominant" group against them, I can now try to take more responsibility on speaking for them and I accept that responsibility proudly!